Judy Price is Writing

As the old year draws to an end and the new one is about to begin, I am ready for a new beginning where an ending has occurred in my own life.

For the past few years, I have mistakenly believed that my ‘last love’ would be my ‘soul mate’.

In this the autumn of my life, several months of it have included an attraction to someone who felt familiar, known and comfortable.

His soul was like a mirror to mine, reflecting back to me what needed healing in my own.  I did not realize this truth at the time, which often happens without the benefit of ‘hindsight’.

This individual guided me through my grief when my mother died, which deepened the bond I felt.

It was a shock; actually paradoxical to me, when I discovered that with all of the comfortable feelings I had for him, passion was not one of them.

In spite of that reality, had he allowed me to do so, I would have continued on that path hoping to fall ‘in’ love with him.

Knowing my struggle with this paradox of how I could feel such a comfortable connection to this man’s soul but not passion for him, a friend of mine recently quoted to me another woman writer’s thoughts regarding ‘soul mates’.

What resonated with me was the idea that a ‘soul mate’ is actually someone whose soul mirrors one’s own, to reveal what needs to be learned about oneself.

In my case, the familiar depth of pain I connected with in this man’s soul, was telling me that mine needed healing.  I know that now.

Being a caregiver throughout most of my life, I was not looking at myself, but rather was trying to share my own perspectives which I hoped might help him to heal his pain.

The truth is that only he can heal his soul in his own way and time, should he choose to do so.

My responsibility is to heal the pain in my own soul.

I had already begun this process several years ago through embodying my emotion in the poetry I composed which I am not posting online.

Then I continued healing in nature through hiking. 

I encompassed this as a ‘task’, wrongly thinking that the more disciplined my approach, the faster the healing would occur, which has had pros and cons.

The physical effects are tangible, yet the emotional relief is temporary. 

In the beginning, I was ‘running away’ from the pain of my grief while hiking quickly on the earth that grounded me.

My approach has since changed to one of just ’being’ in nature while walking.

My blog writing, which began as part of my grief healing process, has now become a passionate pursuit that brings great enjoyment to my life.

With the revealing insight I have recently acquired (thanks to my good friend) and shared here, I am now ready to sincerely thank each ‘soul mate’ who has entered and left my life for the incredible gifts that their souls have provided to my own.

Additionally, I have drawn closer to the ‘spiritual light’ that is the most powerful healing tool of all.

Above all else for me, this is my one true ‘last lasting love’.

One week today is Christmas!

A few weeks ago I wrote that I was ready to inwardly and outwardly prepare for His arrival.

In the interim, illness has prevented me from shopping, decorating, festive dinners and parties with friends; the outward trappings.  

However, I am happy to report that this ‘downtime’ afforded me the opportunity to be still and listen, to travel inward more easily.

As life would have it, one of my siblings needed surgery during that time and is now recuperating. 

My quietness allowed me to send constant healing prayers and positive wishes.   

We might not all be able to celebrate together this year, yet will be close in spirit.

Now that I am ready to play ‘catch up’ with some holiday traditions, I found the last Christmas card my mother gave me the year before she died.

Seeing the words of love and well wishes written in her own steady hand brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my lips. 

I could hear her voice speaking to me as I read what she wrote.

Her card is on display with the others I have received. 

Her favourite wreath now graces my door.  Little reminders of her are all around me. 

My Dad is always in my heart, especially during this season. 

He was Santa for his family every year throughout his lifetime!

Feeling the ‘pinch’ with less than a week to go, I expressed my thoughts to my children and their outpouring of support brightened my day.

Messages of faith, hope, love and peace are Christmas blessings which are sent in a multitude of ways, just when needed the most.

Today Elizabeth Edwards died.

Yesterday Mark Dailey succumbed to cancer as well.

They were four years apart in age, both battling illness for several years.

Each was a high profile person in her/his own circle. 

Mrs. Edwards was a mother, attorney, author, and the estranged wife of once presidential hopeful, John Edwards. 

Mr. Dailey was  a husband, father, more than a thirty year veteran of Citytv as the news ‘voice’ of Toronto, and a former police officer.

They were both American born.

There are many people in this world who die on the days leading into Christmas.

My father was one of those, albeit sixteen years ago on November 24th.

Christmas was his favourite holiday.

As difficult as it is for loved ones left behind at this time of year, eventually the treasured memories one has of celebrating  festivities of this season in past years will overshadow the heart-wrenching grief and void felt without this important person’s tangible presence on earth. 

I recall thinking at the time my father died, and subsequently whenever I hear of others who die during this season, that they have gone ‘home for the holidays’ where I believe they are welcomed with more love, light, warmth and peace than we can imagine,

. . . . a reunion of souls fit for the ‘stars’ . . . .

The past two weekends included ‘bundled’ hikes for me. 

The Bruce Trail, for those who do not know, extends along the escarpment from Niagara all of the way to Tobermory, in a northerly part of Ontario.  I traverse various portions of the trail whenever I can.  

Both of my recent outings, on different areas of the trail, were ‘cold weather’ hikes with bitter wind gusts one week ago, and freezing cold amidst snow flurries yesterday, brr….

Although dressed in appropriate layers for the winter conditions, I just have to reiterate, as I did one year ago I recall,  that I do not enjoy this season for hiking.

I did snowshoe last winter, when there was finally enough snow to do so, and found this workout was just that for me, ‘work’, not fun!!

Spring and autumn are the times of year for me to absolutely relish the trails.

This realization has me investigating other outdoor opportunities for enjoyment of exercise this winter.

In my ‘younger’ years, downhill skiing was my ‘funtime’.  When married with children, family cross country skiing became the norm. 

With more technologically advanced equipment these days, the possibility of enjoying the slopes once again is enticing, although I would only venture forth where snowboarders do not ’play’, lol.

To be honest, these days my preference would most likely be to enjoy sitting in front of the fireplace in the lodge, with a ‘hot’ drink in hand, as opposed to spending the majority of my time outdoors.

Another activity could be ice skating, which is more realistic for me with outdoor rinks nearby.

I used to enjoy skating, especially twirling, although my feet would freeze and tire easily in those figure skates! 

Perhaps my own personal Santa, that would be me, will treat me to a Christmas present of newer, warmer skates minus the ’piks’, to reduce the fall potential and increase my skating satisfaction this winter.

If not, there is always indoor fitness for exercise, and outdoor ‘walking in a winter wonderland’ for enjoyment

More often than not, when I cannot sleep, I lie there thinking, ‘at least I can rest’.

In the wee hours of this morning, another thought came into my mind.

“Christmas is coming, Judy!  Prepare for my birth!!”

And so when I got out of bed this morning, I began to prepare myself for His arrival.

Even as a Christian, sometimes the real meaning of Christmas eludes me.

The decorations, music and festivities can either mask or enhance the true spirit of the season.  It all depends on my perspective.

My inner voice motivated me to put little reminders where I could see them and get the message daily,  from now through December 25th.

Several years ago, when my children were young, as a family we celebrated Christmas at our Florida home.   

During our time there, I purchased some beautiful tree decorations along with some small ‘fridge magnets’.

Two of these are little decorative Christmas gift bags containing bears wearing Santa hats, who are popping their heads up from their packaged places.

The writing on each bag is, “Jesus is the reason for the season” and “Wise men still seek Him”.

I could advise wise women to “Seek and ye shall find” as well.

Now I am ready to prepare myself inwardly and outwardly for the advent of His birth, Christmas.

Where in the world is the ‘good news’??

The global answer is becoming a difficult quest.

More and more, I must look in my own ‘back yard’  to see examples of  ‘good’ in action. 

Volunteers who assist others in need is the most evident answer, whether it be at the local food bank or on the street.

For me personally, I look inside myself. 

When I feel peace within, I am able to open my heart to others in the world, be they near or far, known or not.

Loving, positive thoughts and feelings resound loudly in the hearts and souls of each of us, when we are open to sending and receiving them.

Therein lies the answer for the world.  It begins with me and with you.  

With the advent of Christmas, I will go one step further with the bible verse, “Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened, ask and it shall be given” which points the way to ’good news’ for all, if only we will listen, then follow . . .

Today I had plans to get out there and shop!!! 

Didn’t happen.

It is such a dull and cold November day, I just could not venture from my ‘comfort’ zone.

I did, however, make a connection that was long overdue.

Over the past several years, since the time when my ‘coupledom’ turned to ‘singlehood’, I have been navigating financial waters on my own.

I now realize that perhaps this was not the wisest decision, although in my defense I can say that I was preoccupied with legal issues and healing.

Today I made an appointment to meet with a financial advisor, with the hope that this will set me on a new and promising course.

I am preparing myself for the future as best I can, ever optimistic that all will ‘be well’ with me on this human journey.

After all, even though I cannot control the wind, I can adjust the sails accordingly, enlisting a little ‘jib’ help along the way.

As a majority of my readers are from the USA, I would be remiss not to wish all of my American neighbours and friends a very ‘Happy Thanksgiving’, as well as happy football cheering, and happy shopping on ‘Black Friday’!

I would presume ‘black’ refers to the positive ’ bottom line’ effects for retailers tomorrow :)

Lately, I have been advised to ‘brand’ my work as the sole author of my website, which is gratefully administered and hosted by my brother-in-law.

I always thought I was ‘selling me’ as my words are my own, which is the reason my ‘url’ and ’domain’ states my name and that I am writing.

I would like to seek the wisdom of my readers in this regard, as I am having some difficulty finding the ‘right’ words to describe what I am marketing.

I know that by writing here in various categories of ‘posts’, my hope is to entertain and relate to others while sharing  my life experiences, my educational and professional expertise, and my personal emotional journey, perhaps assisting others along the way, or at least providing a fresh or different perspective. 

I enjoy provoking thought, a variety of emotions, as well as laughter!

In my quest to brand my work, I am learning that the words I choose must ‘emote’ the psychological flavour I am seeking to elicit in my readers to bond them to me.

I would be most grateful for comments and contact from anyone interested in providing me with their ideas and advice with respect to what my ‘brand’ could be.

Of course, with automatic screening, some words will be filtered as spam without my knowledge, and I would encourage re-sending appropriate ideas, which will hopefully be successfully received by me the second time around ;)

‘Thank you’ to all of those who read what I write. 

I am grateful for each and every one of you, whether you choose to comment or not

This week brings the American Thanksgiving, while today the largest Santa Claus parade in the world prepares us for Christmas.

I recall the excitement of this annual ritual when my children were young.

Mother of  little ‘bundles of joy’, I donned them in snowsuits and mittens to line city streets with hundreds of other families eagerly awaiting Kris Kringle’s arrival!

Floats of every description passed us by, while we smiled and waved them on their route.

Hot chocolate warmed our tummies while gingerbread cookies satiated our appetites.

We visited toy-lands in department stores after viewing sidewalk windows decked in every imaginable themed childhood winter fantasy.

To top off the city adventure, a photo with Santa sitting on his red velvet throne surrounded by his elves was no small feat, as lines of little ones necessitated a persistent patience to acquire this prize!

Sweet memories resurface during this season each year, making me mindful of my blessings, while providing me the opportunity to give thanks . . .