Judy Price is Writing

Maintaining eye contact while speaking to each other creates a better chance of hearing and being heard.  It also instills confidence that the other person is interested in what is being said.

Leaning forward with open arms and uncrossed legs expresses interest in what the other has to say.  It also shows openness to listening.

Checking out what one hears, versus what the other person said, is important, as the feedback given can provide the opportunity to correct any miscommunication.

Assumption-making is poor communication leading to misinterpretation, as one tends to believe what one ‘wants’ to hear if the message has not been clear and confirmed as being interpreted the way it is intended.

This may sound like a lot of work, and just like any new skill, it takes practice before it becomes more natural, and hopefully ‘second nature’ as time passes.

When speaking to the other, especially if the issue is to request one’s partner to change some behaviour, it is important to begin the conversation with ‘I’ as opposed to ‘you’, showing ownership, not criticism, of the situation or person.  Or to tell the other person, “When you do … I feel … “, which also imparts taking responsibility for one’s own feelings as opposed to laying blame.

Following the above advice can greatly decrease the likelihood of a defensive reaction to what is said, and increase the probability of the partner’s understanding of the other’s perspective.

‘How’, or the way it is imparted, not just ‘what’ is said, can determine whether or not the other person will be willing to not only listen but respond appropriately.

Voice intonation and volume, facial expression, gestures and body posture, all combined with words, form ‘face-to-face’ communication, which is the best type of relating.

Written communication such as email, text messages, instant messaging and letter writing, all lend themselves more easily to misinterpretation, as there is little or no opportunity for immediate feedback to determine that the message sent is the one received. 

Non-verbal communication, which most experts will agree comprises the greatest percentage of relating, is lacking when the written word is relaying the message.

Telephone conversation and live-stream video conferencing, by providing more of an opportunity for feedback than the written word, can lead to improved clarity in two-way communication.

Of course, when relating to the opposite sex, there are male/female differences which come into play. 

Men and women generally ‘think’ differently, and therefore it becomes even more important to ‘check out’ what is ‘intended or meant’ with what is actually ‘said’, to ensure the correct message has been received.

There are personality styles that also determine how successful communication will be in each relationship.

Assertiveness versus passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive behaviours has a better chance for success.

Communication as a topic has only been ‘touched’ here. 

Hopefully, those interested will investigate further, and perhaps take a course to learn and improve relating to other individuals, especially to one’s significant other.

The benefits of clear, warm communication with each other far outweigh the effort involved.