Judy Price is Writing

This is one controversial topic I am finding.  Not just for others, but also for me.

Before I went to England I had mentioned in one of my posts that I was planning to stay with a friend who is living in the UK. 

It seemed like a great idea as he had given all of his friends and family an open invitation while he is situated there.

Since he lives a few hours from London, I decided it would be better for me to be centrally located in Piccadilly, so that I could easily walk around the city and absorb as much as possible while there. 

As it turns out that was an excellent decision on my part, with only two days in London and jetlag to consider after an overnight flight.

My friend still managed to drive to Eastbourne the next week, where he picked me up and took me to Dover for the day.  However, that experience is for another post.

I have come to the conclusion that provided there is ‘no mutual physical chemistry’  between a man and a woman a platonic friendship is possible.

One might ask what other attraction there might be between a man and a woman if not physical. 

I would suggest that intellectual, work-related topics of interest, other hobbies or interests, sense of humour,  psychological, spiritual and emotional similarities could  all be commonalities without involving a physical chemistry component.

However, if ‘one’ of the two friends is attracted physically to the other, especially if that person is the man, I do not believe a platonic friendship will be viable for the long term.

I believe that the woman might be able to more easily keep a platonic friendship alive even with a physical attraction to the man.

In my opinion it is ‘biological’. 

A woman can control her sexual urges, if she chooses to do so, for an indefinite length of time regardless of her chemical attraction to a male friend. 

If the friendship is important to her she will keep it platonic, if that is what he wants to do.  However, if she senses that he is attracted to her physically as well, then ‘platonic’ is no longer at issue.

Whereas a man who finds himself attracted physically to a female friend will not easily be able to maintain a ‘platonic’ relationship with her.  If he does so for the short term, it is probably because he believes it will lead to a sexual relationship later.

Having stated my beliefs regarding this topic, I would like to clarify that ‘friendship’ and ‘attraction’ on ‘all levels’ is most important for a relationship between the sexes to thrive, especially in a ‘committed’ relationship.

It is the ‘platonic’ friendship that cannot survive if the man in the equation feels chemistry in the form of a physical attraction for his female friend. 

 As soon as she is aware that he feels  ‘chemistry or physical attraction’ for her, she can no longer be in the friendship with him, knowing she has no similar feelings of physical attraction to him.

Recently, I experienced some very refreshing ‘simple’ and ‘common sensical’ names for various things on my East Sussex journey in the UK.

For example, I noticed the words on a white van, “Klassy K-nine” which referred to a dog grooming service; a sign in front of  a residence which read ”Home Sweet Home” ( I thought the owner was pretty sweet until I realized it was the name of a real estate agency), and my favourite; a Hastings pub, whose Guinness I enjoyed, called “First In, Last Out”! 

I also realized that many, if not all, of the nursery rhymes my mother read to me, and then I read to my children, came from simple English names and themes.

I encountered the ‘bluebells’ and ‘cockle shells’ referred to in contrary Mary’s garden, as well as the baaa baaa  ’black sheep’ (have you any wool) animal on one of my hikes.

It was easy to see why ‘Little Bo Peep’ lost her sheep with so very many grazing opportunities, not to mention the fact that hikers are welcomed to ramble with the sheep.  Tempting ‘taking’ for some, I imagine! 

Of course Mary’s ‘little lamb’ was evident everywhere, being springtime  in England’s pastures.

Poetic licence was observed as well, when I encountered “Simon the Pieman” in Rye, as I recall Simon ‘met’ the pieman going to the fair. 

However, that did not prevent me from enjoying a ‘gingerbread man’ (before the fox outsmarted him) with a relatively good cup of coffee (tea is the English norm of course) in that quaint little bakeshop

June 1st is your birthday Mom, only you are no longer here to celebrate it with us.

Last year, you and all four of your children enjoyed a birthday lunch together at one of your favourites, Red Lobster.

This year I placed a red rose for you and a purplish blue iris for Dad in the vase at your graveside.  You are truly with each other once again. 

The beautiful bronze plaque you chose is now complete.   Dad’s side engraved with RCAF wings and yours with a rose . . .