Judy Price is Writing

This is the last day of June, 2010, and the week after seven tumultuous days  before!

Beginning with the tremor of an earthquake felt in Toronto’s city core, which was an omen of what was to follow with the G20 summit and the darker element infiltrating peaceful protestors, it culminated in a backlash of bad press.

I chose not to witness what  unfortunately did transpire in my own neighbourhood, with a purposeful escape to a more peaceful setting.

My return in a torrential downpour, as if to cleanse Toronto after the ‘storm’ it had endured, was to a feeling of being held ‘hostage’, as the lockdown prevented me from reaching my home until the next day.

In spite of vandalism and a torched police cruiser, lost profit and wages for business owners and employees, bruised egos and frightened bystanders, exhausted police and criticism of the way they handled the ensuing day/night, I believe Torontonians came out of this relatively unscathed.

Compared to some past G20 summits in other cities in the world, where violence led to injury and worse, our inhabitants and citizens were protected.

Now if the civil rights authorities can dissect how the police handled everything as a whole, and put forth viable alternative solutions which could lead to the same end result of paramount safety for the majority of human beings involved, then that aftermath will be a positive outcome for all.

The way I see it, criticism without constructive answers is no solution at all.

As I prepare to escape the city this week, with the G20 Summit and all of the security repercussions taking place in my ‘front yard’, I experienced my first earthquake. 

As I stood in my kitchen, the dining room glass & mirrored china cabinet with all of its’ fragile contents began rattling.

Then I heard the sweet sound of wind chimes in my sunroom, which was strange as the patio door was shut.

I called security and determined that indeed Ontario, Quebec and parts of the United States also felt the tremor.

The television news reported a 5.5, then downgraded it to a 5.0 quake that originated near Gatineau, Quebec. 

My thoughts then turned to a friend who is vacationing this week at her cottage in the Gatineaus, and I have no way to communicate with her. 

Hopefully, she and the foundation of her living structure are safe and sound.

I cannot imagine how people in Haiti and other parts of the world felt/feel when unthinkable disaster strikes.

I was ‘shaken‘ just standing there watching, listening and feeling the ‘earth move under my feet’, and not in a good way as the lyrics of the song imply!

Once again I am reminded that not very much in this life is within my control. 

Here I am ready to flee the city and an earthquake occurs!  Irony. 

In fact, at the precise moment I felt this powerlessness, I also felt fear.

That feeling surprised me as I believe in an afterlife.

Then I realized that there are many dreams I have that are yet to be fulfilled. 

Sharing this and countless other experiences in life, both positive and negative, with the ‘one’ who is my counterpart, is not only a wish, but also a prayer of mine. 

Whether or not it will be answered in the affirmative I do not know. 

When I am reminded that my earthly home is only clay, I am forced to ‘let go’ and realize that God is at the helm.

As a spiritual being my foundation cannot be shaken.  

Single parents who have divorced are faced with questions of how this life-altering event will affect their children, whatever the ages.

Provided they have given a solid, secure, loving foundation to their offspring in their formative years, hopefully the consequences will be minimal.

There are so many variables affecting every individual throughout his/her life that it is difficult to pinpoint which one produces what result.

At some point every adult is faced with ‘owning’ his/her life and psychological health.

Until that stage, it is the parents’ responsibility to be vigilant and assist their children to deal with whatever negative impact the divorce might have, enlisting the assistance of professionals when necessary.

Children whose parents never divorced can also become unhealthy adults.

Divorced parents either choose to feel guilt or not.

Guilt is a negative, anxiety-producing emotion which can prevent constructive action.

Knowing this, it is much better to decide to eliminate guilt by taking positive steps to do the best one can do for one’s children as a parent and as an adult, since that is all that can realistically be expected from anyone.

Summer has ‘officially’ arrived in this hemisphere, meaning this is the longest day of the year.

Of course, that leads me to the thought that every day after this for the next six months will get shorter.

Is the cup half full or half empty?

Positive, hopeful individuals will keep looking for good surprises to be coming right around the next corner, no matter how dismal things might look now.

As I remind myself that this is ’who’ I not only want but need to be in order to maintain inner peace and joy, I will relish this day and night as long as possible!

Perspective is everything as I continue on my life’s journey, keeping summer dreams alive all year long

This topic is of more interest today than perhaps ever before, even during the world wars.

With ongoing military presence in the middle east and other parts of the world, as well as numerous online dating sites, and necessary mobility for some to find work, global relationships might eventually become the ‘norm’.

Of course, couples who are in a relationship before distance becomes a factor have the advantage of already being established partners who know one another. 

Provided they are in a committed relationship, their absence from one another will more easily be overcome with the knowledge that they will ‘make’ it work, however they can.

When children are involved, the motivation to successfully maintain the long distance relationship is very strong.

Individuals who are just beginning to know each other from a distance, and choose to develop and maintain a committed  relationship, have challenges to overcome that may or may not become insurmountable.

It takes a very disciplined person to grow and maintain a long distance relationship. 

Someone who knows him/herself extremely well, and is able to discern important traits in the other individual has a better chance of success.

An individual who has already experienced a couple relationship and understands what is involved in satisfying each other’s needs, as well as  how to communicate effectively, is better equipped to attempt to develop a partnership from a distance.

Patience is a key personality trait required, as well as a determination to find viable solutions to obstacles.

In order for it to succeed, the relationship must be developed ‘in person’ at some point.  Only the two individuals involved can determine when that time will be.

The sooner they meet, at least once in the beginning stage, to assess each other in order to decide whether or not they wish to develop the relationship, the better.

When the decision is made, then the timing of everything else is up to what the two can live with.

Whether they decide to meet every three months, once a month, or even once a year, if they communicate regularly in between these times and both are committed to keeping their relationship alive, it is possible.

At some point; however, one or both people might decide it is time to move closer to one another, if not live in the same place together.

Living together, on a daily basis, is very different from consistent but infrequent time spent together.

Some individuals, after attempting to live together, might determine that living apart, yet still committed to one another, might be preferable for them, and continue their relationship with regularly scheduled visits.

When children will never be an issue in the relationship, it will be easier for the couple to live apart and together at different times throughout the year, if this is what they are both comfortable doing.

Even couples who live together may choose to have separate bedrooms and bathrooms; their own ‘space’ within the same dwelling.

Independent people who have their own routines, interests and space can successfully live together provided they are not only committed to, respect and accept one another, but also if they both agree that this is the best option for them as a couple.

As time passes and people age, other issues become involved which will need to be addressed by the partners as well.

One of the key elements to a successful ‘long distance’, and ‘same place’ relationship, is for both individuals to be ‘on the same page’, as far as addressing their individual and couple needs.

Cool and raining here today, unlike England when I was there!

Sunday I had my first long distance, rocky, narrow, steep downhill hike since my return. 

Ontario terrain certainly differs from that in East Sussex. 

It felt great to be in the woods with all of the trees fully green, unlike before my UK departure. 

Along the Niagara Bruce Trail I noticed a tiny, perfect little ‘snail’, whose shell was similar in colour and markings to the much larger Dover snail shell I acquired while at the chalk cliffs.

I picked it up from the pathway where it lay at my feet, realized it was still  at ‘home’, and put it in the wooded trees where it will hopefully thrive, or at least live to see a few more days.

When I saw it, an instantaneous smile came to my face, as I thought of my Dad and his ‘new’ sign to me, as well as his sense of humour.

Now when the ‘ladybug’ cannot ’fly’ to find me at my fairly quick pace of 4.5 km/hour, the ‘snail on the trail’ will.

Eleven months ago today my mother died in my presence.  I felt her spirit leave her body.  Her eyes stayed closed.  She was at peace.

When I visited her graveside on her birthday, after my return from England, I felt at peace seeing the plaque completed with her year of death in addition to my father’s.

Perhaps my sense of inner contentment relates to the knowledge deep within my soul that my parents are reunited and live in a spiritual dimension now. 

When in England I observed many signs of life everywhere; of my Mom and my Dad.

I’ve already written about the Seven Sisters, and climbing them one month ago today, acknowledging one of my mother’s seven sisters as I reached the crest of each of the seven cliffs. 

On the 16th of May, the day after the ten month anniversary of my mother’s death, I was on a hike which encompassed twelve miles of the 1066 Country Walk, retracing William the Conqueror’s footsteps beginning at Pevensey Castle during the Norman invasion.

PevenseyCastle,1066Country

I have previously written about my father’s ties to the Normans and Dover.

On the 1066 walk, in the long grass to my left, I noticed two pairs of ears topping the blades of green. 

I exclaimed ‘these must be rabbits’, and one of the English hikers remarked that it must be ‘hares‘, and that he had never seen one on this particular walk before. 

In fact he acknowledged that he had not ever seen two hares at one time on any hike!!

I readied my camera and gingerly approached the direction of the pointed ears, when suddenly the pair bounded in sync before me so quickly that I had no time to react.

I stood and watched in amazement and awe as these magnificent creatures ran together in unison in a wide circle around us all and made their exit into places inaccessible by us, mere human mortals.

I have never seen a ‘hare’ before.  Jack rabbits, rabbits and tiny bunnies, yes, but never a ‘hare’ and now I have seen a pair of them.

I felt their presence then.

The next day in Brighton, as my hiking group sat in a restaurant on the pier, I received a text message from my eldest daughter telling me about the dream from which she had just awakened.

My mother had visited her in the form of one of her seven sisters, and gave her a most wonderfully warm, solid, strong hug as she told her she wanted to get her ‘hair’ done.

I replied to my daughter recounting my experience with the pair of ‘hares‘ on my 1066 hike the day before, and that I had climbed the Seven Sisters the day before that.

Yes, signs of life are everywhere . . .

As I mentioned in my last post, today is the two week mark of my return from England.

My thoughts are with my Dad and the day I spent in Dover.

Thanks to my friend who drove to Eastbourne in the morning to get me, and then to Dover, Deal, and delivered me back again that same night, I was able to enjoy the experience of being in the place where my paternal ancestry lived.

However, I know I need to follow what my father’s advice would be regarding my ‘platonic’ friendship with this man.

As much as I like his company, I feel no ‘chemistry’ as he does, and to be fair, I can no longer enjoy the friendship as I once did when I was ‘unaware’ of his attraction to me.

Another loss, yet I believe it is a necessary one for both of us.   I thank my friend for what he has brought to my life, and I wish him well in his life and love. 

That day in England, I walked the Dover pier where my first ‘sign’ that my father was with me appeared before my feet.

Ladybug on Dover pier

The ‘ladybug’ has a special significance for my daughters and me regarding my Dad.  It not only brings ‘luck’, but also carries a message of his ‘presence’.

The ferries frequenting Calais, Boulogne and other French and British ports of call were captured by my lens as I stood on the pier.

The morning fog lifted by early afternoon, enabling me to see the country 22 miles from where I stood at the Dover cliffs.

France is home to the Normans, of whom my father and I in turn descend, who invaded England, changing the course of history, including my own. 

I have not stood on that French ground yet; however, now I have seen it.

I acquired a piece of ‘chalk’ from the cliffs, as well as a perfect lone ‘snail’ shell which appeared intact at my feet while I stood there.

Snail shells are mostly made from calcium carbonate, the same as the ‘chalk’ which form the white cliffs of Dover. 

Thank you . . .

White Cliffs of Dover

Two weeks ago tomorrow I will have returned from England.

Even though I had never included the UK on my list of ’must’ places to see, to me this trip was obviously ‘meant to be’.

I have been open to receiving ‘messages’ from dreams and observing ‘signs’ from loved ones who have died, since 1994, prior to and after my Dad’s death. 

I have referred to one of these in a past post,  and will write about others in the future. 

For now, I will say that the following facts all point me to the conclusion that I was indeed called intuitively to experience parts of Great Britain.

My Mom’s resemblance to Queen Elizabeth II has been commented on by people ever since I can recall.  She did take an interest in the royal family. 

My mother had the privilege of meeting the queen and shaking her hand at a government function in Canada. 

She had never travelled overseas nor to England, even though her parental heritage originated in Europe from various parts of the Ukraine and Austria.

My Dad’s paternal heritage, as I have mentioned in a past post, had ties to Dover, from where his ancestors emigrated to Wolfe Island in Ontario. 

Ireland entered into the equation when my father’s paternal grandfather married an Irish bride.   

My father’s maternal heritage was British.

When my parents made the decision to marry, each of them was from a different religious affiliation, although both Christian. 

My Dad was ‘United’ and my Mom ‘Ukrainian Catholic’. 

They decided to compromise regarding religion, and raise their children as ‘Anglicans’.  In order to do so, they both became confirmed in the Anglican church. 

It now makes perfect sense to me that I was beckoned to England, where I witnessed ‘signs’ of my parents presence, now that they are both no longer living in this realm.

I do believe that we are all ‘spiritual beings’ on a human journey, and that when we die, with God’s blessing, our spirits are free to roam, explore, and experience what is invisible and unknown to us while in our earthly bodies.

More about these ‘signs’ in a future post . . .

Last night, after a few years absence, I enjoyed several rounds of billiards. 

I must say this game does interest me, especially when I can learn from more experienced players.  And, since I was on the ‘winning’ teams (2 of 3 and 3 of 3), it was an even sweeter experience.  I sunk the last 2 balls and then the ’8′ ball to win the last game of the night for us  

Playing billiards hones my geometric skills which were sadly lacking in high school.  Algebra excellence in Math class balanced this fact. 

Shooting  ‘pool’ elicits my competitve spirit, especially when the opposite sex is either on my team or opposing me.

Being the middle girl child sandwiched between two brothers, with a much younger sister, could help to explain this response. 

Seeking the guys approval to be included in their activities, and trying to be ‘as good as’ them motivated me to excel at whatever I could.  When they wouldn’t allow me to join in with them, well that just initiated the, ‘I can do anything better than you’ attitude!

Holding a billiard cue just the right way with a steady hand and eye, setting up the shot, then executing it correctly gives me a sense of ‘power’.

Similarly to using my hiking poles for balance and speed on the trail, I think I get it guys!! 

As much as I love being female, I do understand the importance of the male perspective . . .