Judy Price is Writing

A man/woman’s next relationship is only as good as what each person brings to it.  Keeping this in mind, there are important considerations when choosing the ‘one’.

After an individual has become whole and healthy through self-discovery, and perhaps therapy, to recover and heal from childhood or other past relationship issues &/or life trauma, has learned self-love, is happy living alone and no longer ‘needs’ a relationship but rather ‘wants’ one, has dated several prospective partners and is ready to be in a committed relationship with the ‘one’, there are several factors which will determine a wise choice with the ‘best’ chance for success.

The first criterion is the all important ‘chemistry’ factor that can only be defined as an inexplicable attraction to one another.  It is most likely a biological/genetic reaction that takes place when an individual sees a prospective partner that triggers this excitable response.

The physical attraction lends itself to playfulness and sexiness leading to a sensual, mutually satisfying relationship.

Another type of attraction which draws two individuals to one another can be described as a familiar, comfortable sense of ‘knowing’ each other.  This can be a rare occurrence and those who are fortunate enough to experience his/her ‘soul mate’ will know when it happens.

Matching (as closely as possible) intellectual, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and personality traits will assist the couple to relate to one another productively.

Good communication skills i.e. listening, talking, non-verbal expression, are vital components of a successful relationship in every aspect of life.

Open, honest communication will help to build ‘trust’ which is the foundation for all else.

Sharing common interests, while respecting and accepting differing preferences, is important, as well as having the willingness and curiosity to learn and experience new activities together.

Maturity means that each individual takes ‘responsibility’ for his/her role in building and maintaining the relationship.

When possessed with a good sense of ‘self’ an individual will exude confidence, enabling one to hear the other person’s perspective and discuss any differences in order to either subvert or resolve potential conflict.

Empathy, which is the ability to understand the other partner’s perspective even if not in agreement with it, shows ‘respect’ for one another.

Respect for each other is also shown through carrying out actions that match words, thereby building more trust in the relationship.

Commitment to each other, which necessarily involves exclusivity with the ‘one’ chosen, is perhaps the most important decision each partner takes, and will ultimately determine the long-term success potential for the relationship.

Economics play a role; however, with uncertainty in life and finances, provided the partners share mutual goals for their livelihood and lifestyle decision-making choices, together they will weather the storms that arise, just as they will enjoy the fruits of their joint efforts in lucrative times.

Passion for a pursuit in life, whether it be a charity, a career, a hobby or other interest, is an important characteristic for each individual to encompass, as it will bring an exciting dimension to the relationship.  This is not to be confused with an ‘addiction’ to work or another activity.

Integrity shown in wholly truthful and honest, open communication leads to a healthy relationship. 

Conversely, secrets, half-truths, hidden agendas, as well as projection of one’s own negative feelings onto the other, instead of taking full responsibility for his/her own adverse reactions, lead to unhealthy relationships, as the individual exhibiting these kinds of actions is psychologically ‘unhealthy’. 

He/she needs to do the ‘work’ on him/herself before being able to create a ‘healthy’ relationship with the ‘one’.