Judy Price is Writing

And oh what a game and games it was!!!  Vancouver 2010.

14 gold on Canadian soil, a record for the host of the Olympic winter games, and Canada accomplished that feat!  Way to go!

I must say that hockey team USA was a formidable, nail-biting opponent and our good friend and neighbour.  We feel for you. 

It could have gone either way. 

It was just meant to be with an instinctive winning goal by Sidney Crosby.  MVP goalie, Ryan Miller, could not have done anything differently.  He was fantastic.  The players were evenly matched. 

Hockey is our game, the Canadian game, as baseball and football I consider to be the American games.

To all of my American friends, thank you for your sportsmanship, talent, and most of all friendship.  Congratulations for winning the most medals at the 2010 winter games!

To the world, thank you for your unique talent and gracing us with your presence.

To and with my fellow Canadians, once again I say and sing, “Oh Canada”! 

Way to go!!!

Today is the date I gave birth to my first born child, many years ago!  She would not want me to reveal that number here in my blog.

Childbirth, although one of the, if not the, most painful experiences, was also the happiest of my life.  Everything else pales by comparison.  For me, motherhood was the ultimate fulfillment in life.

There is a reason the birth process is called labour!!  For me it took 19 hours, that first time, of very difficult work. 

Natural childbirth using lamaze breathing and relaxation, without an epidural, was my goal, which I was fortunate enough to be able to attain. 

I recall the chief of obstetrics poked his head into my hospital room the next day to see the ‘star’.  I always thought he was referring to my baby girl, but now I think he might have also meant me!

There was a snowstorm that day as well. 

This week we are finally seeing, as well as feeling, winter here! 

Vancouver is also receiving snow this week, which makes it look more like the winter Olympic games.

There are many ‘stars’ there who are the ultimate athletes and make their country proud.  

Not everyone can receive a gold medal, or any medal for that matter, when their goal is achieved in life. 

No matter how small or great that goal may be, it is the ‘process’ of working toward it, the struggle in the journey, that makes it worthwhile once the destination is reached.

As the excitement of the Olympic games continues in Vancouver, with spring-like conditions, other areas of the world are experiencing devastating weather.  

The Portuguese island of Madeira is one such place with flooding and mudslides, creating disaster.

A Canadian tall ship sank off the coast of Brazil last week after experiencing rough seas caused by a ‘microburst’.   

Numerous high school students, who were learning to sail, were aboard, and miraculously they all survived, being quickly rescued from life rafts by the Brazilians.

I would certainly hope that these 42 youth would have received some critical incident stress debriefing, in order to help them avert later post traumatic stress which could affect the remainder of their lives.

As stress is a topic I will be exploring in my next break-up article, and in light of what has been reported in the news recently, I would like to mention it here as well.

In the past few weeks there have been some very stressful occurrences perpetrated by people, not weather.

I wrote about one such event in my blog post article entitled ‘Betrayal’, regarding the colonel wing commander in the Canadian military who was charged with unspeakable crimes.

Another critical incident which occurred last week was caused by an individual who commited suicide in Austin, Texas when he flew his small plane into an IRS building.  Thank God the loss of life wasn’t as disastrous as it could have been. 

This man reportedly set his home on fire with his wife and a child inside, before carrying out the act he planned to do, as evidenced in an online letter.

When individuals carry out acts of terror affecting so many lives, it leaves a question mark regarding any signs others might have missed, that could have prevented such horror, and perhaps helped the persons involved to alleviate their own mental anguish. 

However, feeling guilt for being unable to forsee or assist those involved is also destructive for the ones closest to the situation. 

There are countless examples of stressful events occurring everyday, some of which hit home closer than others.  All can become overwhelming if I dwell on them.

In fact, several years ago numerous stressors in my own personal life caused havoc for me when I did not deal with them as they occurred, but rather tried to be ‘strong’ and carry on in spite of them. 

The burden eventually weighed me down and wore me out to the point of illness.  Recovery has been ongoing and very successful until the setback of my mother’s death. 

Now I am starting to get back to the point where I was before she died, and need to practise daily stress management to move forward.  

Sometimes I just have to turn off the news, and turn my focus to positive, nurturing and uplifting activities, creating them in my own life, and observing them in the lives of others.

Once again balance is key, as well as an attitude of gratitude, to help me to not only continue, but to ‘enjoy the ride’ on my journey.

February 15th is the seventh month anniversary of the death of my mother, and coincidentally, Family Day, which prompts me to write here today.

It is also the day Canadians celebrate after Bilodeau received our first gold medal in the Olympic games in Vancouver last night, and the first gold on Canadian soil.  A very proud feeling indeed for our Canadian family!

This year Family Day falls on the day after Valentine’s Day (V-Day), which was a wonderful day of  camaraderie for me as well. 

Naturally bundled for the cold, hiking a good distance with fast-paced walking in ravines and parks interspersed with city sidewalks, met my need for outdoor activity and socialization yesterday.

After a rather melancholy week with memories of Mom leading up to V-Day, it felt good to celebrate my femaleness with other women and men on the trail. 

Sharing my dark chocolate Hershey kisses with them all was a sweet treat!

Wow, more than one month has passed since I wrote something funny!

With Valentine’s Day a few days from now, this is as good a time as any to provide a little comic relief.

Several years ago, when no longer married, on February 14th I decided to attend a stage performance of the then ‘fresh’ and new Vagina Monologues.  Curiosity led me there.  

My generation, including both men and women, was reticent to discuss vaginas out loud, whereas penises were routinely a topic of conversation.

Even a reference to Regina, that’s right, the capital of Saskatchewan, would elicit laughs as the word rhymed with vagina!

I recall the first year that I attended university, I had a bird’s eye view of a gigantic snow/ice sculpture of an erect penis, topped with red paint, outside the window on the residence grounds.

The guys had decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a ‘present’ to all of the women in my residence. 

This was an era before co-ed floors, only same-sex residence buildings. 

These same guys had numerous names for the female anatomy, none of which included ‘vagina’.

To finally witness some women discussing vaginas, in all of their glory, and in a public forum, was something I definitely had to be part of, and what better date to do so than February 14th!

From that moment on, ‘V-Day’ took on a whole new meaning for me.   As opposed to Valentine’s Day, it became Vagina Day, since women are the ones who advocate for the lover’s holiday anyway. 

For single women with or without a lover, it now becomes a day to celebrate our femaleness which appeals to me. 

In my opinion men see the day as a commercial holiday and would rather celebrate their love everyday, not a specific date that demands it of them!  

I realize that there is a whole organization that uses the V-Day terminology in the quest to stop violence against girls and women, which I advocate as well.  

I prefer to refer to February 14th as V-Day with the meaning of loving and celebrating my femaleness, my vagina, out loud!

Another bright, sunny, cold, snowless day! 

The opening Olympic ceremony takes place this evening in Vancouver where the weather is creating uncertainty as well. 

That part of the country has always had mild winters, although the mountains are usually snow-covered! 

This season is unpredictable in most parts of the world.

My own season of life seems to be mirroring this state. 

I find myself faced with decision-making that I have been successful in avoiding until now.

My sleep, which is tenuous anyway, is being affected more than ordinarily, with thoughts running through my mind forcing me to take a look at all aspects of my life.

I prefer to live one day at a time focused on finding the positive in each moment, yet my subconscious as well as conscious mind is telling me to plan ahead, to make good decisions for myself.

The turmoil I feel is creating anxiety which in turn affects my sleep and consequently everything else.  Logically I know that.

The serenity prayer comes to mind again, asking God to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Let go and let God not only give me the answers, but the ability to listen, to hear and to follow. . .

Along with all Canadians, I am reeling from the news that one of our most elite military commanders has been charged with rape and murder.

I know that one is presumed innocent until proven guilty, and my heart goes out to his wife and any other family members.

In spite of that, I can’t help but think that the investigative police involved would not arrest such a high profile Canadian without some pretty substantive proof.

The only word that keeps recurring in my mind, other than the unknown why,  is betrayal. 

Trust in our military leaders, those who are entrusted with the duty and privilege of keeping us safe, especially in these times of terror and war, is a given.  That is no longer a valid assumption.

It makes me question how I can trust anyone, as I recall what my father, who also served in the air force during WWII, told me when I was young.  “You can’t trust anyone but yourself.”

I always thought this was a cynical outlook, especially coming from my Dad, the person I trusted more than anyone, and who throughout my life showed his total love and commitment to my mother, his marriage, our family, and his friends.

Now I have to wonder if he had it right all along, and was only imparting the wisdom of what he had learned on his life’s journey.  However, I never lost my trust in him as he never let me down.

Waves wash over me once again as I find myself floating back through time. 

My days of drifting, which had begun to feel normal, even comfortable, have encountered rough water. 

I feel as though I have been temporarily thrown off my journey’s course.

My inner compass of faith, hope, and most importantly love, I will trust to reposition me on the path to harmony and balance.

What a weekend that was! 

Ending with a surprising Super Bowl intercept and subsequent win by the Saints, although relished by many, was somewhat of a let-down for me.

Not an ardent total season football fan, I do enjoy the final game, especially that of the NFL which I find to be more exciting than the CFL.

Growing up in a family with two brothers, one of whom played football well enough to be offered a college scholarship, I did acquire a love of the game.

I sat in the stands with thermos in hand at high school, university and later pro games, thoroughly engaged in the process with all of the other fans. 

Those were the days of ‘real’ turf outdoor football fields, where bundling up for the cold with  ‘spiked’ hot chocolate was the only way to spectate!

Saturday hiking with others in -20C windchill preceded.  The lakeshore with lapping waves against ice-encapsulated rocks provided a beautiful setting for most of the sunny day. 

Ending at a Yacht Club where steaming chili awaited us was a great way to finish the hike and satiate our appetites.

As I had a dinner engagement that same evening, I needed to immerse my muscles in ‘dead sea salts’ afterward, and rest to prepare for a wonderful visit with a friend which necessarily meant a late night.  Well worth the effort!

The next morning was a difficult one to negotiate, as I needed to motivate myself to face the cold again.  I had prearranged plans with another dear friend Sunday afternoon.

Then the ‘game’, and here I am on Monday morning, gearing up to face another week of arctic cold minus the snow! 

A very long winter this is becoming, and according to our groundhog who saw his shadow last week, we have to endure at least another six weeks of the same.  I am very glad there is only one Monday morning each week …

On the first day of February there is still no snow!  Arctic wind chill in the minus digits without the white ground cover.  A very unusual winter so far.

And just when I thought I was able to keep my tears for private weeping, surprise, surprise!!  When I least expected it, I became teary-eyed and choked- up in public.  I literally could not speak.

Sitting and chatting with my hair stylist, whom I hadn’t seen this year before Saturday, the waves of grief hit me hard. 

Before I knew what was happening, my eyes filled to the brim, and if I had opened my mouth to answer his question, I knew my grief would overwhelm me. 

So I sat there, mouth quivering, eyes of saltwater, slowly dissolving as he tried to soothe me, rubbing my back, which only made me feel more like the little girl I had become.

He had only queried how my Christmas was, the first without my mother.

Needless to say, he had his answer.  And so did I.  Then some laughter, and back to normal. 

The strong woman reappeared as quickly as the child withdrew. 

 My grief healing journey includes a dance along the way. . . .